By nature, I am a project-oriented person. I am a list-maker.
In other words, I set goals. And usually I don’t find it hard to set goals.
Usually.
Not all that long ago, I took a training course for my job and part of the homework was to write out my goals for the month. That should have been an easy-peasy, no-brainer for me, but it was the hardest question of the whole course for me!
I struggled with it. I answered the question, but was not satisfied with it. I had a dead-line for that assignment, so I turned it in anyway.
I thought about it. Why was it so hard?
I think it’s because I didn’t write my true and honest goals. I know what THEY wanted my goals to be, even though they didn’t come right out and say “Here’s what your goals should be. Write them down.” It was communicated that’s what they should be if you’re going to be a good representative for the company.
Did I want to be a good representative for the company? Yes.
Did I think I could still be a good representative if I didn’t meet those goals? Yes, I thought so.
Those goals were for someone who was working full time and was trying to achieve, achieve, achieve. That wasn’t me. I signed on for part-time. My priority wasn’t to be a National Lead What-ever. It is to be a good mother to my children and a good wife to my husband. I joined the company because I like the product and I saw it as a good way to make some extra money that didn’t take me away from my family.
So, what did I write down as my goals? Kind of what they wanted to hear. That’s why I wasn’t satisfied with my answer.
Why did I give them a dishonest answer?
Where they going to fire me? Goodness no!
I wanted them to think I was an achiever. (I am. Just not their version.)
I wanted them to think I would be a good representative of their company. (I thought I would be – just not quite as gun-ho as they were. I have different priorities.)
Short answer to the above question? Fear of man. Fear of not meeting their expectations.
But it is not man I am to try to please, but my loving Heavenly Father. It doesn’t matter what others think; especially if they don’t really know anything about me or my life. If I am doing what God is calling me to do, then everything will work out fine. When will I get that through my head?
As I set goals for this year, I resolve to be honest with myself and set goals that I feel that God wants me to set. Not what other people seem to expect of me. One of my goals? Not giving in to pressure of others, but staying tuned in to what God has for me. No fear of man!
And maybe finding out the answer to this question:
Why, if I have a chip in my manicure, does my son feel it is his duty to pick at it and make it bigger? WHY?!?
Have a very blessed Year!
